I’ve always been a strong, glass half full kind of girl but 2014 has been a challenge. A big challenge. Recently, I found myself wishing the year over because it had been so terrible…woe is me. Get the violins out! In fact on reflection, 2014 was actually one of the best years of my life so far.
At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend of 10 years decided he was no longer happy, I was not the person he wanted to spend his life with and actually, it was over. This was a bitter pill to swallow after always putting him first, trying never to complain that he loved Arsenal more than me and worked away for months on end and generally striving to be the perfect girlfriend for him. So not only had I turned 30 and I was thinking the next steps were a house and a baby, I was thrown into singledom. I had to learn to flirt again, understand dating etiquette, remember to put on make up whenever I stepped out of the front door (just in case my future husband crossed my path), and worst of all, I joined Tinder.
I’m not going to lie and say it was easy. When someone is a part of your life for so long, they become your best friend. You know what to say (and what not to say) and when. You constantly think ‘oh I must tell them that when I get home, they will laugh’. If you need a hug, you know that they will be there for you and it hurts like hell when that’s not the case anymore.
Finally, I felt in a place where I could allow myself to love again and fell for someone who ticked all of the boxes. He was good-looking, a gentleman, funny, kind, caring, generous and understood everything about me. Little things like both ordering lemon chicken at the chinese (when most people don’t even know it exists), and both buying multiple pairs of jeans in every colour available just because they are the perfect fit told me I had found the male version of myself who I truly believed was my soul mate. We dated for a few months, had the best time and life seemed like it couldn’t get any better. Well, it could certainly get worse. It turns out 6 months down the line that Mr Perfect is actually far from that. He is married, with a daughter and another child on the way, had lied about his name, job, divorce, got a second phone number just for me (how sweet) and even set up a fake email address. Everything was a complete lie.
I don’t have the words to describe what this feels like and in many ways it’s worse than splitting up with Mr Long Term. How I will ever trust again, I don’t know. To think that someone on this earth can behave in that way devastates me.
So this brings me to the point where I believed that 2014 was the worst year ever and I proclaimed on Facebook that I couldn’t wait for it to be over. The truth is there were so many amazing things that happened in 2014, I was just letting these two things overshadow all the amazing things.
- My girls 30th birthday parties – Almost 20 years of friendship with each and every one
- Best friend’s hen party in Paris – 36 hours of insanity and laughing until my cheeks hurt
- Best friend’s wedding – Being a bridesmaid for someone who has always been there for me, no matter how stupid I am
- Wireless Festival – VIP style – almost getting backstage to meet Tinie
- Ibiza fun times with my bestest – Live music, sunshine, vodka and lols
- V Festival in the sun – fire, fire, fiiiiiiire
- Relaxation time in Spain with my amazing family
- Amazing solo holiday to Hong Kong and Thailand – Visiting the little one who makes up 8 of the best friends I could wish to have
The fact that I almost let those two awful things overshadow my endless list of happy times (which aren’t even all listed above) is the reason for this blog. To ensure that no matter what life throws at me, I always remember that I have so much to be happy for.